If only I had...

I've a Merlin cupcake. It is alarmingly pink and suspicious-looking. Does anyone else want to brave it?

Watching Grease makes me miss being in high school musicals. Good times, good times.


You're the one that I want, you are the one I want, oh-oh-oh, honey--

You know, it would be nice if she wasn't so passive-aggressive to me all the time.

[staring out a window, stargazing]

[Man, was this room the greatest. Not only was she able to ask for the most impressive theatre system on the planet, three giant bean bag chairs, and a room that locked from the inside to keep away intruders, but it also gave her a movie theatre-style popcorn machine. Fully loaded with extra salt and butter. OhgoodGod. She made sure the DVD player was prepped and ready to play A Charlie Brown Christmas before going out on her man hunt.

It didn't take long to find her two victims of course, they were together and looking particularly unsuspecting. It took all her self control not to steeple her fingers and taptaptap. Instead she grabbed them both by the hand and dragged them back into the room, shutting the door and locking it behind them.]



Sit! It's movie time.

[ there lays Narcissus; oh his stomach, only in that waist wrap. he's in front of a mirror being held up by a stand, just admiring himself with an easy grin on his face. clearly the blond is ignoring some well given advice by a certain man he'd encountered ]

So that day is coming up, I've noticed. [ he languidly moves a hand through his hair ]

I wouldn't mind sharing company with someone on this day; it seems rather lack-luster to spend it alone.

I- I hereby invite you all to... to my wedding. I hope you can come. And save me.

I think winter really is a lovely season.

Excuse me, but can someone explain why my mother is a Barbie doll?

Well, I'm assuming it's my mother and not my grandmother, but still! I don't have a Barbie doll.

And could they make the uniform look any trashier?

[Little Vic is attempting to carry/drag a brick of chocolate that is at least a foot taller than her, and she can barely get her arms around it]

Can...someone...'elp me...wrap this?

S'il vous plait?

Cissy? Are you there? I must speak with you!

I wish Puck was still around.

Loyal reader, there are many things that I have come to bare, the burdens of horrors that were better left in the shadows. But, now, they soak in the light of discovery, their collective miasma clouds my mind. Where do I begin? How do I control a tongue that wishes to lash out wildly in curses and the very cries of the damned! 

So, what is this that is so vile? So hideous as to shame a Christian who holds the weight of sin on his back? The neighbor, a loud little pest who I see meeting with some sort of cult over mythical entities such as dungeons and dragons and elves and all of that rubbish, was sitting next to the television, staring in awe at the most idiotic sights. With the television at decibels exceeding what my poor ears, in all their draining innocence could handle, I heard the shrieks and shouts of morons, of google eyed cartoons spouting out blather, and it kept on for hours. Truly only a lunatic, a mad moron, could handle something like this.

Gazing at the credits, as if reading a roll call of imbeciles, I saw the title card in a nauseating yellow, tacky beyond all imagination. It spelled out "Naruto." Your loyal working boy, already encumbered by the stresses of household repression and his intellectual pursuits, decided to look into this with the most delicate of proceedings, but what I found was thoroughly shocking, and I sight I shant soon forget.

This Naruto, dare I give garbage a name, was part of some sick, degenerate shlock from Japan called anime. It seems that the Japanese have set out to capitalize upon the limited facilities of the West, which after all, has forgotten god and submitted itself willingly to the lecherous hands of ignorance. There are congregations of deviants who, having discovered something base enough to spark their delight, group together, and further expand this oriental filth into blatant pornography and acts of sodomy that would have sent Judas into shame. Like an orgy inside of an asylum, they have their cartoons do whatever vile little things that tickle their fancy. It is my warning, to those few innocents that remain, to those eyes that remain susceptible to such abominations, to flee at that word, so silly on the tongue, that is "anime." To Sever any connections with those polluted by it, those who continue to descend down through the pits for their twisted rapture.

I shall be here, so that your wheel shall not lower itself into the muck, so that you shall be spared my fate. But I bare at, and I shall suffer it.

I don't know WHY I didn't get here sooner, since I'm freakin' MERLIN, but apparently these universal nexus..eses are a LOT more difficult than I thought to just jump into on the first try. However, I've come to understand there is a TON OF COMPLETE AND UTTER BULLSHIT going on here, and I am here to put a stop to it before you all end up killing each other in a place that DEATH IS NOT POSSIBLE.


Very underage witches being able to perform Unforgivables? Simply saying that a finite charm does not work because you feel your Dark hexes are A WITTLE BIT SCARIER than the regular kind? CASTING A CRUCIO AT RANDOM PEOPLE EVERY FIVE MINUTES JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE IT?


FINITE INCANTATEM MAXIMUS BULLSHITACUS.


There, now all of your spells are broken. Forever. Cheers.


Who wants cupcakes?

Okay.




I'm sorry.

She likes me. I'm sure she does.

Of course the room picks now of all times to let me remember pieces at home. As a result, I haven't slept in days.

Great.

I don't know if I can take Zephyr away from you all...

How can you tell when you're just... making excuses to not do something?

Evan Rosier, might I have a word?